Wednesday, January 27, 2010

The SOTU

Things I would rather do than sit and watch/listen to the State of the Union

  • Get a root canal
  • Work a weekend of birthday parties at chuck a cheese
  • Listen to knives being sharpened
  • Eat fried bugs

Now don't go hate on me because I don't want to listen to the SOTU, I think it is a very important speech that the president gives and addressing the citizens of the US as well as our senate and congress is what differentiates us from countries like say Venezuela;  however I figured out long ago that the SOTU is a 15 minute speech that is dragged to over an hour because of ALL THE DAMN CLAPPING AND STANDING OVATIONS! I have 2 small kids I don't have time to deal with all the clapping I'll just read the transcript of the SOTU tomorrow and listen to all the conservative talk show hosts bash on Obama and find the middle ground that is the truth.  

The iPad?

It looks like an amazing device but the name makes it sound like its a reusable menstrual pad….I can’t believe the creative geniuses at Apple couldn’t come up with a better name!

Monday, January 25, 2010

Why I Don’t Care About Avatar

  • The only blue creatures I enjoy in cartoon format are the Smurfs and the Atlanteans from Atlantis
  • 3D movies give me motion sickness
  • It costs $4 more to see this movie than any other non 3-D movie.
  • The blue creatures are ugly!
  • I’m not enough of a science fiction geek
  • AND BECAUSE IF EVERYONE ON EARTH JUMPED OFF A BRIDGE AT THE WHIM OF JAMES CAMERON,   I WOULD BE THE ONE DIALING 911 ALONG WITH NANNETTE!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Black, White, Purple, and Green

I am not a political junky like other people (Aaron and Barely) so I am probably not the most qualified to make this statement but here goes:  WHAT THE FUCK IS THE BIG DEAL ON WHAT HARRY REID SAID ABOUT OBAMA?!  Ok so the choice of words was not the best I mean its 2010 not 1960 BUT what he said is not racist or untrue….Barack Obama is a light-skinned black man (my preferred term is cafe con leche!) he is also very well spoken.  I’m sure I’m missing more of the context of the quote and yes there is a double standard in the political parties but that’s the problem with being so politically correct you are so afraid to offend anyone that you end up offending everyone.  Should he resign…I personally don’t think so but I also hope that he doesn’t get reelected because if I lived in Nevada I wouldn’t want someone who still thinks Negro is an acceptable word to use to refer to another human being.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Mysteries of My Kids

 

  • How many acorns my daughter is able to stuff into her pockets.
  • How my daughter seems to think that the four food groups are sliced cheese, shredded cheese, string cheese, and Nesquick…is she a girl or a mouse?
  • How legos, hot wheels, and toy trains breed inside the washing machine…is it a secret toy spa getaway?
  • Where are all of their socks?
  • Where are all the left shoes?

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Christmas Songs….

Ok I absolutely love Christmas!  I could listen to Christmas music all year long with the exception of the following songs:

  • Jingle Bell Rock-Lindsey Lohan RUINED IT FOR ME!
  • The Christmas Shoes-MOST.DEPRESSING.CHRISTMAS. SONG.EVER!!!!
  • I’ll Be Home for Christmas-the Josh Groban version…I like Josh Groban but the service men and women speaking in the song depresses me because I realize the number of families that will be missing a loved one thanks to said loved ones courageous service!  Thank you to all of our troops!
  • AnyChristmas song sung by Martina McBride.
  • My Grown Up Christmas Wish
  • And the stupid parody songs the cheesy radio stations like to play like Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer and the 12 Days of Christmas.

Then there are the songs that I love rocking out to:

  • Anything sung by Alvin and the Chipmunks-there is something about the high pitched voices that make me smile!
  • Ditto for anything sung by The Muppets
  • The entire Christmas in New Orleans CD! The Zydeco music is so festive and I love slipping it into the office CD player in the middle of July!
  • Silver Bells
  • Anything sung by Michael BublĂ©, Harry Connick Jr. or any of the other crooners.
  • O Holy Night sung by Jessica Simpson
  • Santa Baby

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

The New and Improved Pixie

I am going to take a page from the editor of Real Simple and use my snarky outlet in a way that is easier for me to update and entertain all. I am going to do lists. Why lists you may ask (or maybe you don't really care) because as a mom I'm always making lists and it is much easier for me to make a list of things that annoy me, upset me or make me laugh than it is to try to come up with a witty blog post, especially considering that I have no writing background and was not an English major, or a journalism major or any major in college that required witty writing nope I was a psych major so the most witty writing I did had to do with my rats in Experimental Psych. So stay tuned and I hope you enjoy the new format of The Snarky Pixie!